Happiness

Happiness, the most important aspect in a relationship.  It's a moral obligation and an easy reach!

Let me explain... not as an expert do I explain.  As an observer and as a hopeful dreamer do I explain.  I have observed many friend's lives, friends who I will leave unnamed but whose views and values I will alude to.  And I "dream" (think, ponder these possibilities) knowing if I only apply what I am throwing out there will the dreams come true.

1) The most important aspect in a relationship...
relationship with yourself.... You are the one who will benefit most from your choice to be happy, as it is a choice.
relationship with your spouse... this is who will benefit second from your choice
relationship with your children.... who will benefit third, and
a relationship with others (friends)... this is who will benefit fourth.... (collectively you and your friends, 'cause ultimately, it will mean you are a friend and you will have friends, which we need for the benefit of our souls).

2) It's a moral obligation.  It is a moral obligation because it affects those around you and is apart of doing unto others as you prefer others to do to you.  Mainly, a person generally likes to be around a happy person, so to obey the golden rule, someone would choose happiness (be that happy person). 

3) It's an easy reach.... how can I be happy?  It may not seem an easy reach to those that are not content, but I do believe that happiness is really possible for anyone, and in any situation.  You have to make it happen.  And it is a decision.
By accepting the way God made me.  If I am happy with myself, I will be happy with others.
By choosing things to do to make me happy... to get that energy to fuel myself to give to share the happiness and contagious enthusiasm with others!
Here I am writing a list of things that will keep me happy and content, things I desire.  To spread energy, you gotta keep feeding yourself the happiness.  By the way, it is not selfish to desire the happiness.  What is selfish is choosing to be unhappy and providing a miserable atmosphere for everyone around you to be in.  Because I want to be more happy, choose happiness as it is indeed a moral obligation and vital for every relationship I have, I am choosing to construct a list of things that make me happy.  Nothing wrong with thinking on these things, either, and being happy as I am trying to achieve them.
* Get a six-pack... the health in this in itself, keeping myself fit, will help me to be a harder, more diligent worker and that in and of itself brings satisfaction and happiness.
* Sing more around the house, songs I like... worship songs to Jesus, or others meaningful songs or tunes.
* Be more taming of my tongue.... show friendliness and be a positive energy-giving person to those I meet showing care and not being self-focused.
* Start looking at Christmas songs and lyrics half way through or earlier than that in the year.  I know of two people who look forward to Christmas part way through the year!  And one of them right after Christmas!  Nothing wrong with having "Christmas in your heart" all year long!
* Give gifts away to make others happy (and yourself happy).  I've noticed a great happiness that comes around Christmas time planning, deciding, anticipating the facial response to those who are receiving your gift on Christmas day...  Why not enjoy it all year long... and make sure I accept the happiness I am giving myself because of this and give it to others.
* If there is a nutrition for your body that helps it be healthy, therefore letting you function in happiness better, do not neglect it.  Make it happen to prioritize it getting into your body for utmost happiness!
 
With all my sincerity, have a happy new year.

Good and bad days

Marriage is good for many reasons!  One of them is that when one is having a good day, they can be there and talk to the other if they are not so having a bad day.  That is why it is good to work on a team with others and not work alone.  It is that way for marriage in which your spouse and you work together for life, whereas co-workers work with you temporarily.  Some do not get to work with others at an employment position.  And there are some who do not have a spouse (not getting to work together in life).  A new perspective for you is that if you are struggling with seeing a helpful side to your marriage and marriage position/relationship, see it with gratefulness that you are not working alone.  Take up the opportunity for diffusing of "bad days."  If it's your husband with the bad day and you are having a good day, talk to him and make him smile or laugh.  It it's you with the bad day, still see this perspective and talk to your husband to receive encouragement.  A suggestion to get encouragement from him during your bad day is to ask his counsel or advice about something... and call it that to his face... "Can I have your counsel/advice on _______?"  I used to feel good and bad days weren't acceptable, that all days had to be good... but realistically and logically, that is not how life is.  God continue to bless you all, dear wives, on this journey you have with your husband. 

Interruptions and Faith

"Okay, is everyone happy?" I half-kiddingly put out there in our empty house.  I knew I was going to sit down to blog, and I knew what I was going to blog about!  I'm blogging about how interruption and faith for personal interests and goals relates to being a mother.

Our living room is half-empty because my family is in a transition.  We are moving, and the truck with the shipping container came to get our furniture two days ago, and we leave in two days.  It does make more time for things like blogging strangely when you do have less stuff.  It's true: with clutter, you can't think so clearly.  With so much of our belongings gone, and my family living with bare minimum for five nights and five days, I've been able to concisely cook, clean, and have more time for attention on the children.  On day four (today), after lunch, during the peacefulness of an early afternoon, I realize that now is a good time to get my blogging worked on.  I tell my husband I am interested in blogging, and he supports me.  I soon get the cord stretched over to a part of the empty living room wall, where I lean up against with the computer and begin after my question.

My second daughter (who is also my second child) calls out, "No."  That is so surprising.  She usually answers every yes/no question with "Yes," and I found this quite something to chuckle about, especially with the topic I am writing about.  Everyone else's response is agreeable.

So a question for the "perfectionist": is it okay for a mother to have personal interests?  And I am outside that "label," because I used to be a perfectionist, which is "A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards," the first definition from freedictionary.com.  I would add that it is an unhealthy propensity.  The answer from an ex-perfectionist (me): yes.  I used to think as a mother, I was only a mother, and it was part of the perfectionist attitude I had, that I had to be a perfect mother, which to me meant no time in my life doing anything else unless it was ultimately for my children (get rest so I could breastfeed better, exercise so I could be healthy to care for them).  And why exactly is it okay for a mother to have her own interests? Because a mother is still those things she was before she became a mother.  Her interests she had before she had children are still there (dormant maybe at times, but still there). 

So now that you know it is okay for a mother to have interests, how can she take the time for those interests while still prioritizing her children?  The Bible gives a passage that relates to every person, no matter what place they have in this world. 

 1 Peter 1:3-11 says, "According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: 4Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 5And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 6And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; 7And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. 8For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. 10Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall: 11For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." King James Version

A heading in the Bible for this passage is "Making your calling sure."  If this is an appropriate heading for the passage, then I see "your calling" as this: mothers with interests, these are your interests... being music lessons, writing, horses, cars, drawing, or other... there is a variety.  Verse five says to add to your faith virtue.  Faith is the "substance of things hoped for, that which is unseen." (from Hebrews 11:1) It might be "Christianese jargon," but it might be simple really.  Do you hope to draw?  Do you hope to spend time with your horses? Do you think God only requires a bland "faith" from you almost nun-like with no real application of the faith to your life?  God cares about your interests!  Grab them up!  It is still possible with a household of children.  I am a living testimony to this!  I have five children age three and under, and I still write and take voice lessons!  Virtue is the kindness, patience, love, etc. shown to my children before I can get to the open door to write or practice singing.  Virtue is not just an unending list of non-reaping of effort.  Virtue is also wisdom.

Before I started this entry, I waited patiently for the timing.  Since I've started writing this entry, I've been interrupted, and it is this way with mothers.  I have said, "Don't touch that.  Get your foot off the typewriter.  Don't crawl on the baby," and more.  I've changed two diapers and am now holding the baby, typing with one hand.  Interruptions come, and mothers need to appropriately respond.  My daughters do know to show respect and not interrupt when I am practicing voice.  If they forget, I pause the karaoke youtube video and remind them.

Enjoy your interests, and if you do not have any, enjoy picking one out! And do try to include your children in your interests.  A goal for me is to hear my children cheer for me when I sing and to give me ideas of what to blog about.  These are goals for me for my children when they are older/when they can understand more.  Until then, with wee little ones, I wait until there is an open door it being a nap or some quietness in the house, and I do take up my interest.

Trusting/submitting and a book

I still remember this concept.  It feels so right to say to my husband, "Okay," out loud after he makes a suggestion or says how things should be done.  The Bible says to submit, so it is good for beating Satan, who hates submission.  It is good that a wife hears herself say it.  When I hear myself say to my husband, "Okay," simply, I know that I am benefiting any listeners.  I'm bringing peace to the children and taking a path with no conflict.  This is something I need to work on more.  This is a children's song, and it applies to wives submitting to their husbands.  There really is a happiness and peace in a wife's heart, when she, with self-control, will choose to just say "Okay," and nothing else.  "Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey."

I have been reading a book.  The Power of a Praying Wife was given to me this year on my birthday.  I am almost through reading it.  There are many chapters, each with a different area about a husband to pray for him.  The chapters are short, and there is a suggested prayer at the end of each chapter.  I really appreciate this book, and have been praying the suggested prayers and more.  Stormie Omartian is the author.

Routines to Avoid Frustration

I am writing this entry to "update" my "Making Wifely Duties a Routine Habit" entry.  We are in our new house, and routine habits are nice.  My favorite that helps me to be disciplined and sets a good pace for the rest of the day is to get up early.  Six o'clock is the time that helps me most in rising early.  I've started a weekly chore list in the last few weeks.  I do a chore a day.  One, for example, for one day, is cleaning the bathroom.  As far as the weekly menu, I have not done that for a while.  It seems to be a bit tedious and unnecessary anymore.  A habit I tried just last night that I think will work well to eliminate stress is to eat my meals a step ahead of my husband and children, or at least half of the meal at dinner time when my husband is home from work.  It might work for you, if you are like me in the area of being a slow eater.  I like to finish eating about the same time as my husband to relax with him.  It is hard, though, when I've got to feed the babies and myself.  Being a slow eater slows everything down and is frustrating.  So last night, I gave the try a go and it worked really well.  No one wasn't okay with me having eaten half my meal before my husband even arrived from work.  While the others were eating after my husband came home, I was concentrating on spoon-feeding one of the babies, and enjoying eating the rest of the meal.  And though my husband still finished a little sooner than I finished, it didn't frustrate me so much.

Preparing Myself

Hello!  I will look at my past blog entries and write about my current perspective on the topics.  I will be writing about new things as well, which is what this entry is about.  My husband and I and the children will be moving in about a week to a place far away - so far, we had to get a family member on my husband's side (who lives in that area) to check out our choice of living quarters and help arrange that for us.  We have only seen photos online of the house.  As I was looking at the photos separately from my husband showing me, I knew and chose to realize ahead of time that "that room is smaller than it looks..." and "things are different than they are in the photos because they were taken when someone else was living there."  Accepting this will prepare me to accept the house and focus on the necessary things when we get there like the children, cooking, keeping a positive attitude and being a good wife.

God Watching Me

In my "starting this blog" (my first) entry, I talk about my blog, and I talk about how a widow encouraged widows, people she related to and understood, and that I wanted to encourage wives, people I relate to and understand.  How neat it would be, though, for me to encourage wives to love their husbands so much, inside my blog, and outside, just by example... and how neat it would be to see God watching and approving of my decisions, only caring about doing what is right in that area for His approval.  Before I decided to do the "re-writing" idea for the blog, I looked through my blog a bit, and I saw that I bragged on myself quite a bit - as if I am some top-notch star example of a wife that other wives should follow.

Starting It Up Again

I am starting up my blog again!  Since August 2015, we've been really super busy, and I gave birth to twin boys in July 2015.  Here in April after a big respite from the blog, I am getting back to it and with an idea!  I'm going to be “re-writing” about my topics from the fresh, matured perspective I have now on each of those topics, starting from the beginning way back about 3 years ago as that is about when I started those blogs.