Taking care of yourself and make up.

What makes me run the other way fast when the idea arrives of New Year's Resolutions is that you can make them any time you want, so why wait until the new year?  I came across an article recently that is called "The One New Year's Resolution Your Husband Wants You to Make."  The idea in the article that husbands want their wives to make resolutions of is that they want them to take care of themselves.  I want to take care of myself more than I have, specifically in the area of make-up.  I have never really been big into make up.  I remember "how I met make-up."  I was about 7 or 8.  I put some of my mom's make up on.  I just helped myself.  My sisters watched me put some on and giggled.  We had to go over to someone's house that day briefly, and we were standing outside visiting.  There was a little boy there about our age, and one of my sisters said when we got back home that they noticed that he was looking at me because of the make up, and she giggled about it.  I remember being proud.  Thinking about it, this is not good to be proud!  There is nothing wrong with the exciting fun side of make up, though, and wanting to be beautiful and take care of myself.  I need to guard against the pride 'cause of that tendency in my past.  I had troubles with being prideful, also, around my dad when I would have make up on later in my teens and when I got my ears pierced when I was about ten.  There is no need.  It's normal for girls to want to be beautiful and good to take care of yourself, but not good to be prideful. 

God's Love Poured Out

About a half a week ago, I asked God to pour His love out on me.  Yesterday I knew God did.  No details now, but I am so happy for God to pour out His love to me.  This blog was meant to encourage wives.  I was silently and unknowingly needing encouragement myself, and God has loved me and poured out His love to me.  As for this blog and the direction it will take, I am going to encourage wives with the love poured out God has shown to me! 

Don't Let the Sun go Down on your Venting

Something that is a sin is gossiping.  Visiting with your spouse about someone is not particularly gossiping as much as it would be in the category of a form of wrath called "venting."  Make a habit not to let it go on past a sunset.  It could be annoying to your spouse not to let something go.  If someone offended you, "got on your nerves," or frustrated you, you can talk about it to your spouse, in a godly way.  Godly for this includes rules with orderliness for boundaries, such as not letting the sun go down on your wrath.

A Trust That Produces Peace

There is a trust that produces a peace.  It is when I do what I want and need to do when I am waiting on God for His will to be accomplished.  That time of waiting while you know that what you're doing is right while you're waiting is peaceful.  When you pray for something, then you do else 'cause you can't do anything about your desire, the accomplishing of it is out of your control and out of your scope of influence, and you do want you need to, totaling resting your worries in God's care, there is peace.  In case there are other wives out there who worry and get stressed, this will encourage you.

No fear, no stress, and always peaceful

It is good not to be stressed, ever, and I've wondered before if it's possible to never stress anymore and have peace always.  I learned recently head knowledge through detailed, personal circumstances why I get stressed, and am stressed.  I did not need to see a counselor to know this.  I only needed Who Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor, sent after he ascended into Heaven after His death and resurrection, and that is the Holy Spirit.  I used to be real big into counseling and getting counsel.  While I've been married, it hasn't been hiring a counselor, as I did before I was married.  It's been more like seeing friends as counselors and bothering them with questions.  A blog a few entries ago included the homeschooling program which was cultish my parents enrolled me in, and I had gone to a seminar through that called "The Counseling Seminar," which, what I got out of that after attending, that people could come to me for counsel though I was not qualified except through a certificate for attending their week-long seminar.  I also got from it the impression that counseling is something you don't need qualified hugely for, so a person can ask counsel from everyone and anyone or counseL anyone and everyone.  Though I never called it "needing help," I would bother many people with questions and feel I needed help.  The reason I did this was because I knew the verse from Proverbs in the Bible that says, "In the multitude of counselors, there is safety."  Safety sounded nice, so why not more and more, was my mindset.  Logically, this verse from Proverbs was written before the Wonderful Counselor sent the Holy Spirit, Who is all I needed to reveal this to me today.

Behind my getting stressed, there has been fear.  There are several different fears I've had.  One is a fear of abandonment.  These fears are nothing that have to do with my husband.  They are from areas and times of my life when I felt abandoned.  My husband would never leave me.  It makes sense to take these fears, the causes of my stress, to the Lord, while remembering and being grateful for His promise repeated in Hebrews 13.  He is my Helper, and He will never leave me nor forsake me.  It makes sense to take the fears to God and let Him deal with them instead of letting them influence stress in my life, making my family suffer from having to be around a stressed person.

So I believe it is possible not to ever have fear and not to ever be stressed and to always have peace. 

Thursday I had an opportunity to pass the test of the head knowledge lesson I blogged about Wednesday.  I failed at something and calmly took correction.  Looking forward to applying my head knowledge about no fear, no stress, and always peaceful.

My Light

When I was a child, I was very shy and known as it.  I accepted the reputation and didn’t talk much. Lately, I have worked on communicating more, acknowledging people, and saying what it on my mind as long as it is helpful.  Sometimes communicating is helpful in and of itself simply so you can be involved.  I have realized lately from the counsel that I mentioned earlier that the Holy Spirit the Wonderful Counselor sent, that growing up, honestly, my upbringing did not include a lot of verbal affirmation and verbal acknowledgement.  I forgive with understanding and with love those who could have given me more verbal affirmation and acknowledgement.  I forgive with love and understanding that perhaps they did not get much verbal love or verbal acknowledgment while growing and I plan to verbally acknowledge and affirm them with love without weary next time I see them.  Having followed the example I’ve seen for many years, it has been a challenge, but a pleasant and healthy challenge to try visiting more with people and giving acknowledgment and affirmation to people.  I wonder if I’m hearing from the Holy Spirit one of the reasons I was shy because I was afraid of being proud and being afraid of not responding the right way to praise about what I've done?  It can be real stifling, this sense of bondage!  I know! The encouragement I get that it is okay and not prideful not to be shy is the Bible verse recording Jesus’ words to let your let shine.  I am to not be afraid to do well, to be kind in words and other ways.  I do not need to be afraid to do well.  The reason I would be afraid is if I am afraid of people.  Fearing God is doing well for the purpose of doing well that others will see and give glory to God.  Sometimes my light to shine is showing a patience; sometimes, it’s a plate of delicious food.  Sometimes, it’s reading a book to one of my daughters or spending other time with them in a quality way.  Sometimes, it is trust and submission.  Wherever it’s needed most, whenever it’s needed, I don’t have to be afraid… I can be excited that I can let my light shine and then do well to do what I can to encourage glory to God for it.

One Way to Know I've Earned Trust

About a week and a half ago, my husband and I hosted some people at our house for an evening visit.  I was serving chocolate cake and tea, and my husband asked me to do something for him right in front of the guests (and I did it).  And then yesterday, my husband asked me to do something for him right in front of someone else (and I did that, too).  I had wanted my husband to feel comfortable that he is the man of the house and feel like he can tell me to do something with assurance, trusting me that I would not embarrass him.  Score, I am so glad that I know after these two assurances (assuring me his heart trusts in me).  I do hope to earn his trust in more and bigger ways with a willing and ready "yes" when he needs me when company isn't around (and when it is or wherever we are), so that others can see my "light" (a light of a wife is her submission) shine.  If you want assurance you've earned trust, knowing and watching your husband ask you to do something when you have company around is one way to know.  Pray to that end.  It really does raise respect for both your husband and yourself.  In both situations, a sense of more respect was given us both. 

While Waiting

There’s something that I want my husband to do.  It is something that I know will help us both spiritually and mentally.  The best way for a wife to handle a desire is to pray for it to happen.  Men do not respond well to nagging.  I knew that with head knowledge before I got married, and I know that with experience after being married. 

Waiting while praying is really difficult.  I can see God clearly in my desire that it is a pure, good thing.  Jesus factually promised “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.”  One thing from my childhood God has created anew in me is a pure heart.  So I have a heart that wants to see godly things come to pass.  This is something that without a doubt will be a godly thing, I can see that and know that from a pure heart.

Waiting while doing good works is what I should do until the desire is fulfilled.  This would be difficult if I did not have faith.  Sometimes all faith is is a little effort.  Faith without works is dead.  Sometimes all faith is is a little confidence.  Don’t be afraid to try ‘cause you shouldn’t be afraid to fail.  Sometimes all faith takes is a little bit of responsibility.  And responsibility is responding well to what you have failed with and been corrected with. 

It’s difficult to respond well to failure, but when I do, Jesus will comfort me because another promise He made is “Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  Pray and try while waiting.  At failure, respond well and allow God to comfort you.  It’s a good lesson to teach my children by example and by instruction when they are old enough to hear it.

Identity and Consideration

        Our identity should be in Christ.  Not in being a mother, not in being a wife, and not in... being anything other than a Christ-follower!  In the past, I have gone a step worse than leaning on my own understanding and not trusting God.  The step further I have gone is "leaning on what I think is other people's understanding of me," which is crazy, I know!  Both head knowledge and experience knowledge: I know it's crazy!

         I was a part of a homeschooling group.  That was when I was a child.  I home-schooled.  The group joined was not my choice.  I have met folks who've been part of the group.  I did not like the group.  There were cult-tendencies there.  Since I left the group and got married, I still know people who have been in the group.  Here's how "leaning on what I think is other people's understanding of me" relates to this.  What I think is their understanding of me is that I like the homeschooling group.  After all, I met many people in the group through a post-high school trade school related to the cultish homeschooling group.  That was before I forsook the group and before I got married.  If I lean on what I think is other people's understanding of me, I am in huge trouble!  One, I should trust God in how He sees me, not my own understanding of someone else's understanding of me and not in my own understanding of myself.  My identity is in Christ.  It is not in who I think I am and it is not in who I think other people think I am.

        Here's how a wife is to be considerate of her husband, however.  My mom told me before I got married, before I ever began looking for a spouse: "Maybe you can serve the Lord better married."  My identity is in being a Christ-follower.  I am a Christian above being a wife.  As a Christian wife, I serve as a wife as a Christian would. 

Unique

I am grateful for the union my husband and I have.  It is unique to us.  God knew just what the facts should be about my man to fill in the gap that would be the way closer to God.  I've got my man for the rest of my life.  What better way to live the rest of my life but to look for how the facts were predestined to make me like Christ?  I love God by loving my man.

Entry in Thanksgiving/Christmas Newsletter Form

Hello friends,

                I am blessed to be able to thank the Lord during this upcoming season when the warm and cozy end-of-year holidays start.  Families across the United States are making plans, I’m sure, to be with family for a Thanksgiving meal, then soon after (or some before) set up for Christmas, the decorations and so forth, and then make plans for those gatherings.

                I thank the Lord for many things.  I thank the Lord for my husband.  God knew what kind of man was for me, and in His wisdom and through His love, He created a union, the kind of union I wanted, a union pleasing to Him.  I am thankful for my mom and dad, and for my husband’s parents.  I am thankful for my husband’s and my marriage union.  God knew what was needed to prepare my husband and I for each other, and He brought us together with great timing, and I have been more and more grateful for him. 

                I am thankful for my blessings, my husband's and my two children.  Our first child's life with us so far (it will be a year and a half by Christmas) has taught me many things, among them are single-mindedness, patience, sacrifice, and most of all, love.  Children need all of those things, and God in His wisdom, planned it that she would have a love language, through which all these specific needs of hers, that I needed to work on, could be interpreted best.

Our second child's life with us so far (it will be almost half a year by Christmas) has taught me humility and love.  The second time having a baby, I’ve got the basic experience of feeding, diapering, etc., behind me, but the best reward is learning to truly realize that every good and perfect gift it from above and accepting the humility before God in regards to His gift.

Among humility before God, I am very much so thankful that the Lord has taught me about fearing Him above man.  Something I didn’t learn when I was young, that I should have learned in the setting of church services, was glorifying the Lord.  God used the same place to teach me fear of the Lord, a place where I did not fear the Lord, a place where I was timid and afraid of what people thought of me whether good or bad.  If people thought well of me there, I thought well of myself.  If others thought poorly of me, well, I was so timid and afraid to make a mistake that I often wouldn’t try… I didn’t want anyone to think badly of me.  It all is summed up in a root cause: I was not giving glory to God.

What God used to bring to my attention what I needed to learn, and what He gave me to learn this and accept the freedom to fear Him was the worship service my husband went to this evening.  A few people raised their hands in worship to the Lord during these songs.  I never could bring myself to raise my arms to the Lord in any church to worship Him.  I never felt genuine about it – always afraid of what people thought… and me being afraid of what others thought of me kept me from bringing glory to the Lord by raising my hands to worship Him at church.  I tried it… it was genuine.  Obedience to fear Him and think of only what He thinks of me came first.  Then it felt good.  It felt right.  I am so looking forward to going back to church, and that how it should be… we should want to worship God because that is a way to please Him.  It makes our enemies be at peace with us.  The gift that Jesus, Who is the way, gave us when peace came to earth the beautiful holy night He was born.

In Jesus,

Lindsey Gunther

Lyrics to an Ispiring Song

A friend asked me today if I had heard this song.  I had not, and it is really inspiring.  God said, "It is not good that man is alone."  The author of the lyrics explains from a man's perspective why a woman's presence is good for him, and these lyrics inspire me to be such a woman the author describes.

"Something In The Way She Moves"

Something in the way she moves, or looks my way, or calls my name
that seems to leave this troubled world behind.
And if I'm feeling down and blue or troubled by some foolish game,
she always seems to make me change my mind..

And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost about all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now.
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.

Every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning
and I find myself careening in places where I should not let me go.
She has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me
of the happiness and the good times that I know, and then I just got to go then.

It isn't what she's got to say but how she thinks and where she's been.
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound.
I like to hear them best that way, it doesn't much matter what they mean.
she says them mostly just to calm me down

And I feel fine anytime she's around me now, she's around me now almost about all the time.
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now.
She's been with me now quite a long, long time and I feel fine.
JAMES TAYLOR

Link to youtube video

Putting "Being a Secretary" into Practice Earned Me Respect, Making Me Confident

Today I called the chiropractor.  I set up an appointment for my husband.  If I want a sense of respect, as a worldly secretary feels from getting trained for a job and being paid paychecks for, I need to command it!  Why not earn the sense of respect right within the home that secretaries do, except for me, right inside my home, as a helpmeet to my man?  I confidently told the secretary with the confident yet raspy voice that would normally intimidate me: "Hi, do you have any openings for tomorrow?  I'm calling to make an appointment for my husband."  She named four slot times.  I said to her, "Could you please hold on a moment, and I'll ask him?"  (Isn't that what a worldly secretary would do - a secretary who is on the phone making an appointment for her boss?  Except I am abiding in my home - I've got the pureness of heart going for me.)  My husband named the time of his preference to me from where he was relaxing.  I got back on the telephone and told her his choice.  I was confident!  And the result?  I earned respect from the owner of this raspy voice.  Next time I have an appointment to make for my man, I will add to my confidence.  This is to the glory of God.

Be A Secretary to Your Husband

                I keep this blog to encourage you as you strive to be more virtuous.  If you do not want to be more virtuous, I hope that you will at least not despise me for having hope for my future.  I blog about actively striving to be a virtuous woman.  I got ideas for what kind of marriage I want to have before I got married.  As a baby before birth, God is knitting it together in its mother’s womb.  As a young person wanting marriage, I got ideas of what kind of marriage I wanted, and God was preparing me.  When a marriage is started, it’s like a new person is born.  The two become one person.  I didn’t understand what someone said to me before I got married like I do now.  She was talking about reputation and what people think of an individual.  She said, “There’s the guy and there’s the girl and then, there’s the guy and girl.”  I do not tell you of my own experiences to brag to say how good it is what I have done.  I blog to give you inspiration for your own marriage, ideas to make it good.  God gets the glory for what I do. 

                I’ve been keeping in mind lately “being my husband’s secretary.”  That means make his phone calls.  It means answer the phone, if he wants you to.  This is all within the home aspect of things, not really to do with my husband’s job since he does not work for himself.  Those wives of you whose husbands work for themselves or who have a home business right inside the home, you can hands on be the secretary!  Go all out!  What do worldly secretaries do who are not abiding in their homes?  Do it, but you get to do it with all pureness of heart… bring him his favorite tea.  Make his coffee just the way he likes it.  Bring him juice.  By all means, take care of him if he’s ill.  Bring him medicine.  Bring it to him in a special way, like on a special plate.  Where I am with all this is I’ve got to make my husband an appointment for a teeth clean he asked me to do.  I tried today and couldn’t get through, gave a report to him about it, and he said to try again tomorrow.