I am grateful for the perspective in this guest post from a writer on the topic of respect and love.
Marriage is one of the oldest and most sacred vows in the history of mankind; the promise of man and woman to no longer be separate identities, but to be one unit, two halves of a whole, partners. It is the act of removing the desire to provide for oneself and trading it with the desire to provide for another out of love.
Marriage is one of the oldest and most sacred vows in the history of mankind; the promise of man and woman to no longer be separate identities, but to be one unit, two halves of a whole, partners. It is the act of removing the desire to provide for oneself and trading it with the desire to provide for another out of love.
For
centuries, couples have exchanged vows, promising commitment, love, and
honor. Until the 1920’s, the bride’s vows also included the mandatory
promise to obey. Later, it was discovered that the phrase had been
improperly translated; the original wording was defined as “to mean a
promise; listen deeply.” While Ephesians 5:22-24 commands wives to
submit to their husbands as to the Lord, verse 21 exhorts both spouses
to submit to each other. In verse 25, it charges husbands to love their
wives as Christ loves the church. This is further expressed in
Colossians 3:18-19.
It
often falls to the wife to start the cycle of love and honor. Why is it
our responsibility as wives? Why is it not the man’s job to initiate
this? I believe it is because, as women, it is easier for us to be soft,
open and inviting. Men are taught to be strong providers; therefore, we
must be the soft landing place. We can provide the gentle comfort and
support that a weary man desires after a long day of providing for his
family. 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to submit to their husbands in
such a way that, if they are non-believers, the husbands will be won
over by their wives’ behavior without any words to convince them.
In
my own marriage, I have found that my husband is the most loving and
sweet towards me when I honor his authority. When I disagree with him
respectfully, I notice a difference in his response to me as compared to
when I contradict him harshly. He has told me that when I respect him,
it makes him feel secure, which helps him to confidently make decisions.
My favorite phrase in conflict is, “I will support your decision, even
if I don’t agree.” When we respect our men, they are assured that their
family will stand together, and it gives them the courage to be the
leader and make tough decisions.
So true! Our husbands need our unconditional love, demonstrated through unconditional respect.
ReplyDeleteOur husbands do need our non-manipulated, freely-given respect and understanding.
ReplyDeleteHere is a comment to this entry a friend, who doesn't have a personal account to comment with, asked me to type up! I do hope that it encourages the readers.
ReplyDeleteThis article inspired me to wash the kitchen floor! Since I wear shoes or sandals in the house, I don't always feel the sticky spots that like to grab my husband's socks, and I tend to push off the mopping up part... so here's to washing the floor before the sticky spots are commented on.
Some of the best advice we got on our wedding day was to never stop being students of each other. To continually learn all we can about each other, because we do live in a constantly changing world and our personal likes, dislikes & quirks change, too.
I've found unless I make a concerted effort to observe our spouse and their changing preference, we will grow apart.
Lindsey, This is a great article. I also was warmed by the comments from Jasmine: unconditional love demonstrated thru unconditional respect. Another friend said to never stop being students of each other. Mom
ReplyDeleteYeah, that IS good, Mom. Unconditional respect IS so important to a man, and we can understand how much it means to them, pondering how much unconditional love means to us wives. Thanks for your comment!
ReplyDelete