I am grateful for the perspective in this guest post from a writer on the topic of respect and love.
Marriage is one of the oldest and most sacred vows in the history of mankind; the promise of man and woman to no longer be separate identities, but to be one unit, two halves of a whole, partners. It is the act of removing the desire to provide for oneself and trading it with the desire to provide for another out of love.
Marriage is one of the oldest and most sacred vows in the history of mankind; the promise of man and woman to no longer be separate identities, but to be one unit, two halves of a whole, partners. It is the act of removing the desire to provide for oneself and trading it with the desire to provide for another out of love.
For
centuries, couples have exchanged vows, promising commitment, love, and
honor. Until the 1920’s, the bride’s vows also included the mandatory
promise to obey. Later, it was discovered that the phrase had been
improperly translated; the original wording was defined as “to mean a
promise; listen deeply.” While Ephesians 5:22-24 commands wives to
submit to their husbands as to the Lord, verse 21 exhorts both spouses
to submit to each other. In verse 25, it charges husbands to love their
wives as Christ loves the church. This is further expressed in
Colossians 3:18-19.
It
often falls to the wife to start the cycle of love and honor. Why is it
our responsibility as wives? Why is it not the man’s job to initiate
this? I believe it is because, as women, it is easier for us to be soft,
open and inviting. Men are taught to be strong providers; therefore, we
must be the soft landing place. We can provide the gentle comfort and
support that a weary man desires after a long day of providing for his
family. 1 Peter 3:1-2 encourages wives to submit to their husbands in
such a way that, if they are non-believers, the husbands will be won
over by their wives’ behavior without any words to convince them.
In
my own marriage, I have found that my husband is the most loving and
sweet towards me when I honor his authority. When I disagree with him
respectfully, I notice a difference in his response to me as compared to
when I contradict him harshly. He has told me that when I respect him,
it makes him feel secure, which helps him to confidently make decisions.
My favorite phrase in conflict is, “I will support your decision, even
if I don’t agree.” When we respect our men, they are assured that their
family will stand together, and it gives them the courage to be the
leader and make tough decisions.
