"Okay, is everyone happy?" I half-kiddingly put out there in our empty house. I knew I was going to sit down to blog, and I knew what I was going to blog about! I'm blogging about how interruption and faith for personal interests and goals relates to being a mother.
Our living room is half-empty because my family is in a transition. We are moving, and the truck with the shipping container came to get our furniture two days ago, and we leave in two days. It does make more time for things like blogging strangely when you do have less stuff. It's true: with clutter, you can't think so clearly. With so much of our belongings gone, and my family living with bare minimum for five nights and five days, I've been able to concisely cook, clean, and have more time for attention on the children. On day four (today), after lunch, during the peacefulness of an early afternoon, I realize that now is a good time to get my blogging worked on. I tell my husband I am interested in blogging, and he supports me. I soon get the cord stretched over to a part of the empty living room wall, where I lean up against with the computer and begin after my question.
My second daughter (who is also my second child) calls out, "No." That is so surprising. She usually answers every yes/no question with "Yes," and I found this quite something to chuckle about, especially with the topic I am writing about. Everyone else's response is agreeable.
So a question for the "perfectionist": is it okay for a mother to have personal interests? And I am outside that "label," because I used to be a perfectionist, which is "A propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards," the first definition from freedictionary.com. I would add that it is an unhealthy propensity. The answer from an ex-perfectionist (me): yes. I used to think as a mother, I was only a mother, and it was part of the perfectionist attitude I had, that I had to be a perfect mother, which to me meant no time in my life doing anything else unless it was ultimately for my children (get rest so I could breastfeed better, exercise so I could be healthy to care for them). And why exactly is it okay for a mother to have her own interests? Because a mother is still those things she was before she became a mother. Her interests she had before she had children are still there (dormant maybe at times, but still there).
So now that you know it is okay for a mother to have interests, how can she take the time for those interests while still prioritizing her children? The Bible gives a passage that relates to every person, no matter what place they have in this world.
1 Peter 1:3-11 says, "According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
4Whereby
are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these
ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the
corruption that is in the world through lust.
5And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.
10Wherefore
the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election
sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:
11For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." King James Version
A heading in the Bible for this passage is "Making your calling sure." If this is an appropriate heading for the passage, then I see "your calling" as this: mothers with interests, these are your interests... being music lessons, writing, horses, cars, drawing, or other... there is a variety. Verse five says to add to your faith virtue. Faith is the "substance of things hoped for, that which is unseen." (from Hebrews 11:1) It might be "Christianese jargon," but it might be simple really. Do you hope to draw? Do you hope to spend time with your horses? Do you think God only requires a bland "faith" from you almost nun-like with no real application of the faith to your life? God cares about your interests! Grab them up! It is still possible with a household of children. I am a living testimony to this! I have five children age three and under, and I still write and take voice lessons! Virtue is the kindness, patience, love, etc. shown to my children before I can get to the open door to write or practice singing. Virtue is not just an unending list of non-reaping of effort. Virtue is also wisdom.
Before I started this entry, I waited patiently for the timing. Since I've started writing this entry, I've been interrupted, and it is this way with mothers. I have said, "Don't touch that. Get your foot off the typewriter. Don't crawl on the baby," and more. I've changed two diapers and am now holding the baby, typing with one hand. Interruptions come, and mothers need to appropriately respond. My daughters do know to show respect and not interrupt when I am practicing voice. If they forget, I pause the karaoke youtube video and remind them.
Enjoy your interests, and if you do not have any, enjoy picking one out! And do try to include your children in your interests. A goal for me is to hear my children cheer for me when I sing and to give me ideas of what to blog about. These are goals for me for my children when they are older/when they can understand more. Until then, with wee little ones, I wait until there is an open door it being a nap or some quietness in the house, and I do take up my interest.
