Communication

I've learned something about communication I want to pass onto you.  My heart's been convicted that I should keep my words few.  The Bible says to do that.  I got that from Ecclesiastes 5:2, which says, "Cause not thy mouth to hasten, and let not thy heart hasten to bring out a word before God, for God is in the heavens, and thou on the earth, therefore let thy words be few."  For four days in a row last week, I made a point to keep my words few, and after each day, and throughout the day, I have felt peace in my spirit.  I have not felt peace in my spirit when I talk too much.  When I have talked too much, I have said things that are unnecessary, not helpful, annoying, and bring difficulties to those listening.  I know that in my communications with my husband, I can maintain peace by applying what God has said in His Word.  A few days ago, for a few moments, I almost lost the peace when I wanted to say some things to my husband during a conversation.  Being still and quiet, I soon learned I can back up and can keep the peace in my spirit by realizing that there is quite a falseness that peace can be maintained as long as I am understood.  I approached my husband to talk to him about something.  Part way through the conversation, I felt not understood, but when I thought before I talked, and thought and realized, asking myself, "Do I need to be understood in this area?"  "Is it important?"  It was not, I realized.  My husband made a few comments that by me listening to them, were sufficient to adding to the conversation, and I could accept and not force my view.  And it ended up being peaceful.  This is a way of maintaining peace in your spirit - by obeying God's Word in Ecclesiastes 5:2. 

My Husband's Desires and My Desires

Something on my mind lately is about my desires and my husband's desires.  My desires are to please my husband.  My husband desires to please me as well.  This is a simple truth, and it is a normal, built-in truth spouses have for just being in the state of being married.

I do have personal desires that have to do with improving myself.  They are desires I believe God has given to me.  I believe God gave them to me because He wants me to improve myself.  I've wanted to be single-minded in my life.  A question, desiring answering to clear up confusion could be: "How can I be single-minded and fulfill my desires and my husband's desires both?

I  believe it is possible to do both and still be single-minded.  My deep, singled-focused desires are to obey the Lord by obeying my husband.  God can still fulfill the desires He gave me to be the person I want to be.  My husband knows that I can function better to serve God by obeying him if I am happy and content as the person God wants me to be. 

It seemed hard at first, wondering how the two blend together, my desires and my husband's desires, and being single-minded, but my husband is not unreasonable. 

Encouraging Myself While Encouraging my Husband

I have written a letter of appreciation to my husband.  I plan to read it to him.  Because it encouraged me just to write it, I wanted to pass it on to you what I did.  If you choose to do the same, it just might encourage you, too.  The author of the book Love and Respect uses the the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S. for six of the chapters.  Each letter is for a different thing husband like to be respected for, he says.  I used the acronym from the book as a guide in writing. 

If you're interested in doing the same and being encouraged by writing a letter to your husband, look up the book Love and Respect on amazon and "Look Inside!" at the contents of the book.  Here's a link to that.
Names of six chapters from contents of book Love and Respect

Here's an example of the first thing a husband likes to be respected for that I wrote in the letter to my husband, and you are welcome to follow the guide the way I did.  I wrote, "You have a desire to work and achieve.  Your desires have come to completion because you do work and achieve.  And God has honored you, because it's not just any work, and it is beneficial achievement." 

And then I went on to say what his work is, which explains in and of itself why it is beneficial achievement.  I made almost the same opening statements per point.  I am excited to read it to him.

I hope you do write the letter.  It was a great encouragement to me this morning as I sat and wrote it.